On April 1st, digital pioneers Primate will be taking the plunge and replacing their entire team with AI in order to boost revenue, maximise profits, and reduce HR overhead.
In the footsteps of giants
Managing Director and Elon Musk super-fan, Rebecca McIntyre-Smith, describes how she was inspired by the Tesla founder’s unrelenting vision and clear strategic thinking.
“After investing heavily in AI and seeing absolutely zero benefit,” she said, “we’ve decided to take a leaf out of Elon’s book and slash our entire workforce, replacing them with AI. If Midjourney can generate an image of a horse-sized chicken fighting a hundred chicken-sized horses with a single prompt, then it can sure as hell generate some website designs.”
When asked if AI would hamper the agency’s creativity, Rebecca scoffed. “Creativity is overrated. Designers want us to think it takes years of experience to produce truly effective designs, but I think they’re just making it up as they go along. I mean, have you seen how much white space we include on our sites? Ridiculous.”
Who needs colleagues anyway?
“AI is an incredible tool,” Technical Director and Trump supporter, Bart Oleszczyk explains. “It has the potential to hugely increase productivity whilst radically reducing annoying interruptions from co-workers, on account of us simply not having any. I love it.”
Will having an entire AI driven business kill the agency’s culture?
“Absolutely not. In fact, it’s better than ever. We just found a plug-in that can replicate all the annoying banter we used to have across our internal chat channels, so whenever I’m feeling lonely, I just ask it to generate a couple of memes and I cheer right up.”
One door closes, another door opens
“I was all on board with the switch to AI,” Gordon McLachlan, Strategy Director and Zuck fanatic commented, “until Rebecca and Bart sat me down and told me they were replacing me with ChatGPT. Apparently it can generate a whole page of digital strategy in seconds. Incredible.”
“It’s not all bad, though,” Gordon continued. “I’ve just completed a two week course in plumbing and am now earning three times what I used to make. Turns out all us professionals are absolutely useless when it comes to manual labour. I just charged someone £600 to fix their toilet! At this rate I’ll soon be able to afford a Tesla.”
Happy April Fools’ Day!
- The Primate Team
